Becca is devoted to strengthening families through helping couples develop safe and secure marital bonds and helping other therapists learn more effective couple’s therapy.

In this interview Becca discusses finding what you need in a healthy relationship and how to move beyond abusive relationships. She touches on abuse and how it can impact therapy as well as decision making moving beyond a relationship left behind. 

In addition to training therapists in Emotionally Focused Therapy throughout North America, New Zealand and parts of Europe she also specializes in distance and online education. She has taught Psychology, Family Life Courses and Counselor Education for many years.

Mentioned in this podcast:

  • People need close relationships. They make us happier.
  • Looking inward to see what we want, need, and how a person makes us feel is the best “flag” and predictor of how we’ll feel moving forward.
  • Abusive relationships can makes us question our own judgement with new relationships.
  • Emotional pain in relationships registers in the brain the same way physical pain does.
  • Labels are helpful but are not the whole story.
  • People in pain cause pain.
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has a high success and improvement rate in couples.
  • Pain in relationships that creates a lack of trust results in distance and more lack of closeness and pain. Can become a cycle of disconnection and pain.
  • Understanding the triggers from the past that come up and accepting them as part of each of us vs. the “fault” of the other partner.
  • Risking emotion in new relationship is what creates healing from a past relationship moving forward.

Becca’s blog

Living in Love – blog and workshops for couples and couples information. Also helpful for individuals in recovery.

Dr. Kristin Neff