Listen to the Podcast episode using this audio player:


Who is Patricia Evans?

Patricia Evans

Patricia Evans (Source:

Patricia Evans has single-handedly brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness — naming and defining verbally abusive relationships via her first book, when they were still unnamed and undefined.

She is an interpersonal communications specialist and the author of five books on the topic of verbal abuse, control, and healing. Find details on

Evans is also a consultant, speaker and trainer, offering workshops and information on the topic. She has spoken on the devastating effect of this “secret form of control” on more than two hundred radio shows, and 20 national television programs, including the Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN and News Talk.

Episode Notes

In this interview Patricia discusses the following consistencies within verbally abusive relationships:

  • Abuser in the verbally abusive relationship loves a “projection of you”
  • He cannot hear you unless another person is in the room (literally)
  • You are abused only when you are alone, there are never or rarely any witnesses
  • He is the charmer socially and no one would ever believe you
    • You know this and this is why you haven’t told anyone he’s friends with
  • As his dream woman (projection), he defines you
  • When you let him down, he has no empathy for the “real woman”
  • You are often isolated. He defines the marriage and you are blamed for EVERYTHING.
  • Wounded and confused, you don’t tell anyone.
  • You suffer from a plethora of stress related illnesses: anxiety, chronic fatigue, exhaustion, cushing’s syndrome, depression, fibromyalgia
  • He creates a confabulation to support his treatment of you. He believes his own lies.
  • He started out as a seemingly normal guy and “switched” to a verbally abusive controlling person during a key moment i.e., after marriage, a baby, a move, etc. Usually when he feels comfortable and settled. He “has you”or “you belong to him” now.

Resources Mentioned

5 Keys to Heal5 Keys to Healing

Join our newsletter and get weekly emails to inspire you, to let you know what's ahead for The Audacious Life podcast and to be eligible for flash giveaways.